71-year-old asks for XL condoms, the reason why makes the cashier faint

I think it’s important to stand up for who you are, and not to care too much about what other people think about you.

Combine that with being open and honest, and you’ve got a recipe for funny situations.

This story about a little old lady is a hilarious example of just that. The last line made me laugh out loud!

I found this dirty story earlier today, and I just had to share it with you. Shared joy is double joy!

A 71 year old Boston lady walks into a drugstore. There are a lot of people in the store, and she goes to stand in line. After a while, it’s her turn at the counter.

She asks, “Hi, do you sell extra large condoms?”

Cashier does a double-take

The cashier is brand new at his job, and isn’t used to hearing questions like this. Her honesty shocks him, but he recovers quickly.

He says with a cough, “Yes, right down there in aisle 11.”

About 30 minutes go by, and the pharmacist notices that the woman is still standing in aisle 11, looking at the condoms.

He decides to go see if she needs any help.

He asks, “Hello, ma’am. Did you find the extra large condoms?”

She replies, “Yep, now I’m just waiting for someone to buy some.”

The cashier fainted – don’t you just love old people with moxie?

Woman asks an old man to guess her age. She was shocked by his response.

This joke was sent in by reader Carl K. from Bangor, Maine.

Read it below.

A woman decides to have a facelift for her birthday. She spends $5,000 and feels pretty good about the results. On her way home she stops at a newsstand to buy a paper. Before leaving, she asks the sales clerk, “I hope you don’t mind my asking, but how old do you think I am?”

“About 32”, the clerk replies.

“I’m actually 47,” the woman says happily.

A little while later, she goes into McDonald’s, and upon getting her order, asks the counter girl the same question. She replies, “I’d quess about 29.”

The woman replies, “Nope, I am 47.” Now she is feeling really good about herself.

While waiting for the bus home, she asks an old man the same question. He replies, “I’m 78 and my eyesight is starting to go.

Although, when I was young, there was a sure way to tell how old a woman was, but it requires you to let me put my hands up your shirt and feel your boobs. Then I can tell exactly how old you are.”

They waited in silence on the empty street until curiosity got the best of the woman, and she finally said, “What the hell, go ahead.”

The old man slips both hands up her shirt, under her bra, and begins to feel around. After a couple of minutes, she says, “Okay, okay, how old am I?”

He removes his hands and says, “You are 47.”

Stunned, the woman says, “That is amazing! How did you know?”

The old man replies, “I was behind you in line at McDonald’s.”

Man catches his wife in bed with 19 year old hunk, offers strange explanation that reveals everything…

As we all know, you shouldn’t cheat on your partner.

However, I can’t help but give the woman in this story credit for her hysterical excuse when she gets caught red-handed in bed with a young hunk.

I sure wasn’t expecting what she said next!

She meets an attractive young man, one thing leads to another, but suddenly… well, I won’t spoil the ending for you. If you laughed, make sure to share this story with a friend to brighten their day. Laughter is the best medicine!

Gary came home early from work and found his wife in their bedroom, making love to a very attractive young man. Understandably, Gary got quite upset when he saw what was going on.

“Oh, so this is how it is!” he yelled. “How dare you do this to me – your faithful husband, the father of your children! That’s it, I’m leaving you. I want a divorce!”

His wife covered her bare chest with the sheet and replied, “Hang on just a minute honey, I can explain!”

“Fine, go ahead,” he grumbled, “but they’ll be the last words you’ll ever say to me!”

And so his wife began:
“Well, I was getting into the car to drive home, and this young man here asked me for a lift. He looked so down and out and defenseless that I took pity on him and let him into the car.
I noticed that he was very thin, not well dressed and very dirty. He told me that he hadn’t eaten for three days!

So, in my compassion, I brought him home and warmed up the enchiladas I made for you last night, the ones you wouldn’t eat because you were full from eating chips in front of the TV. The poor thing devoured the enchiladas in a couple of minutes.”

The wife adjusted the sheets around her body and continued her explanation,
“Since he needed a good clean-up I suggested a shower, and while he was doing that, I noticed his clothes were dirty and full of holes, so I threw them away. Then, since he needed clothes, I gave him the designer jeans that you have had for a few years, but don’t use because you say they are too tight.

I also gave him the underwear that was my gift to you on our anniversary, which you don’t use because you say that I don’t have good taste. I found the nice shirt my sister gave you for Christmas that you don’t use just to annoy her, and I also donated those boots you bought at the expensive boutique and don’t use anymore because you saw Justin Bieber wear them on TV.”

The wife took a quick breath and continued:
“He was so grateful for my understanding and help. As I walked him to the door he turned to me with tears in his eyes and said, ‘Please… is there anything else that your husband doesn’t use?’”

57 LADY PARTING WITH ’57 CHEVY AFTER 60 YEARS OF OWNERSHIP

Until you have actually been behind the wheel and gotten that feeling, it can be hard thing to explain. However, for those of us who tend to get attached to our cars, we know all about that sentimental feeling that you get when you have a car for a while and had some experiences with it. After all, It’s been there through all of the hard times and after all those long bonding hours in the garage, sometimes, those four-wheeled stress relievers really end up being the best thing that’s there with you through thick and thin.

We would imagine that over a 60-year period of time, there would be a lot of thick and thin moments to be had. Therefore, you would also imagine that the woman that goes by the name of “57 Lady,” the woman who has defined herself by spending six decades driving her Chevrolet, that she would have a couple of experiences to tell the world about. While we’re sure that she does, after her long run of ownership of the car, she has decided that it has come time to call it quits with the machine, turning the keys over to another owner.

On the surface, it might be a little bit confusing as to why exactly she would want to do something like this. After all, if you spent so much time with a car like this one, you might think that she would want to hang onto it for an eternity or eventually pass it on to a family member, however, it seems like she has pretty good reasoning behind wanting to move on from the car. It really seems like something that she wants to share with someone else who will be able to appreciate it as she says the last thing that she wants is for the car to end up behind the doors of the barn. It’s really a touching story and we think you’ll get quite a smile on your face by joining in with the video below.

This Funny Motorcycle Commercial Shows Why Men Have Motorcycles [Video]

We recently did a feature on great Harley commercials. We love Harleys and we love their marketing folks almost as much! Some of Harley’s commercials are quite raunchy. And we just got to know that it’s not just the folks at Harley who have these balls of steel to come up with stuff like that.

Here’s presenting to you Big Dog Motorcycles. They’re apparently the largest makers of custom motorcycles in the World. Not only is their name badass, but so are their bikes, and even their commercials.

They’ve kept it quite simple and to the point. Women love bikers. There’re no two views about it. Every woman knows it. Every biker knows it. There’re a good number of reasons why women find bikers much more sexy than guys who don’t ride. In fact, we even did a feature on that recently. And this is what Big Dogs’ badass marketing team decided to use.

In the commercial, we see a family waiting in a station wagon at the signal. There’s the dad at the wheel, the mom in the front seat, and kids in the back. And just then, a guy on a Big Dogs motorcycle pulls up next to the car, on the woman’s side. You really need to check out the video and see what the woman does next!

Funny story: Guy gets even with his wife in a crazy way

My girlfriend and I haven’t had a real fight in a long time, but if I would try anything like the guy in this story, I’d probably have to sleep on the couch for the rest of the year.

One evening last week, my wife and I got into bed. We were fooling around, the passion started to heat up, when she suddenly says:
“I don’t feel like it, I just want you to hold me.”

I said, “WHAT? Then what was all that about?!?”

Then she uttered the words that every husband on the planet dreads to hear…

“You’re just not in touch enough with my emotional needs as a woman, for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man.”

She saw my puzzled look and said, “Can’t you just love me for who I am and not for what I do in the bedroom?”

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.

The very next day I decided to take the day off work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store.

I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn’t decide which one to take so I told her “we’ll just buy them all”.

She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said lets get a pair for each outfit.

We went to the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you, she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck.

I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn’t even know how to play tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I said, “That’s fine, honey.”
She was almost nearing ecstatic satisfaction from all of the excitement.

Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, “I think this is all dear, let’s go to the cashier.”

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, “No honey, I don’t feel like it.”

Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled “WHAT??!!!”

Then I said, “Really, honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You’re just not in touch enough with my financial needs as a man, for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman.”

And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me I added, “Why can’t you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?”

Please SHARE this story if it made you laugh!

The Female Rider On “Drugs” Video That’s Getting Viral On The Internet

Mr. Mackey from South Park says, “Kids, don’t do drugs. Drug are bad. mkay?” Guess, this woman didn’t get Mr. Mackey’s message clear when his head flew off like a balloon. The woman is obviously on some meth. You may ask what’s our source for that, and we’ll just say, “The Internet”, the home of all truths in the world.

The video was shot by a guy traveling in a car somewhere in the US. It seems to have been shot on a smartphone. We’re not really clear if the car driver shot it himself, or was it some passenger traveling with him. What we do know is that the guy does love the word, “Bitch”

The woman is riding a pretty big and long cruiser down the highway doing some absolute crazy stuff. She’s dressed for a run on her legs and not one on a motorcycle. No safety gear, no helmet, nothing whatsoever. She’s wearing sunglasses, probably to cover all the drugs.

She’s riding like an absolute nutcase, as she listens to songs using earphones connected to her fairly large phone tucked away in her pajamas. Do you think she was on drugs? Or was she not? Let us know your thoughts in the comments section below.

10 WIVES OF MOTORCYCLE GANG MEMBERS ON LIFE AS A BIKER BITCH

1. WHAT YOU SEE ON TV IS CRAP

“If you think bikers’ girlfriends are typically toothless, droopy-chested, leather-toting drug addicts, then you are amongst the thousands of others who know nothing about us!

If you think we are all violent and get beat up by our gigantic biker boyfriends, that ten kids from 9 marriages or my favorite, that we are all uneducated criminals and strippers…you’re sadly mistaken! I for one am a college grad; I own my own company and don’t do drugs or drink….What you see on TV is crap and not all biker communities war with one another, but rather where I live every MC of every color embraces the same principles: honor, respect, and brotherhood…family.”

2. OUTLAW BIKER WOMEN ARE VERY MUCH SECOND-CLASS CITIZENS
“The outlaw biker women are very much second-class citizens in that testosterone-driven life….These clubs are not democratic organizations, ruled by the many for the good of the all.…They are run very firmly by men who usually clawed their way to the top of this primal food chain, and considering the general savagery of the ordinary member, that’s impressive….Women must be outwardly submissive, be thick-skinned about sexist attitudes, and be able to get along reasonably well with the other women….I resented the assumption that my vagina automatically rendered my intellect inferior to a person with a penis and a three-piece patch.”

3. I LEARNED MY PLACE AT A VERY YOUNG AGE
“It’s not a lifestyle, it’s a way of life. I grew up around clubs, and I learned my place at a very young age. When my Ole Man says ‘My Ole Lady knows her place,’ it’s a very nice compliment, and it also means that I get to go out and party with him….I work and play in a man’s world and I know my place….Yes, women need their outlets, but telling real men they are wrong makes me angry.”

4. LEARN TO PLAY THE ROLE OF HIS VERY OWN ‘WHORE’
“When your ol’ man takes you places with him or when he has company at home, DON’T talk too much! Try to be friendly and polite but NEVER, ever just jump right into the middle of their conversation. If there’s anything a good man can’t stand, it’s a woman who talks too damn much!…You should always be enthusiastic about sex. Put a little effort into it. You gotta want to please him….If you got a problem w/oral sex, GET OVER IT! All men love it, want it, need it. If you offered your old man a blowjob right now it wouldn’t matter what he was doing; he’d stop long enough to take you up on your offer. And I can guarantee you that if you NEVER ever offer him a blowjob, he would take any woman up on her offer for one right now….Don’t ever swing on him in the heat of an argument if he smacks you first. Maybe you got outta line and out of control and needed to be smacked to snap out of it. In case you didn’t notice, women can turn into lunatic psycho bitches….Don’t expect him to kiss your ass, just get a piece of it….Clearly all women, except those who NEVER give it up, are whores to a certain extent. Men end up paying for sex one way or another, so learn to play the role of his very own ‘whore.’”

5. YOU ARE TREATED WITH RESPECT
“I’m an ol’ lady [and] have never been or seen another ol’ lady passed around (that would be Hells Angels, not Outlaws). If a woman wants to put it around, of course there will be takers, but generally the Properties wouldn’t have too much to do with these. Being a Property is actually an honor; you are treated with respect and the Property patch lets others know not to bother you. Aside from popping to the bar or giving someone a plate of food, which all of us do freely and are happy to do so, we are far from the slaves some people like to say we are.”

5 More on the second Page

Rude woman gets instant Karma after trying to push motorcycle into oncoming traffic

It’s called a ‘zipper merge,’ but some drivers are just too stupid or too entitled to follow it correctly.

When two lanes become one, vehicles are expected to take turns as traffic merges like teeth on a zipper. Inevitably, there’s always at least one driver who refuses to give way and tries to ‘double up’ the teeth in their lane.

This action isn’t just rude, it’s dangerous.

The woman driving a grey sedan couldn’t care less about the motorcycle beside her. When it’s his turn to merge she speeds up to block his path and tries to force him into oncoming traffic. He gestures at her to move, but she just smiles and laughs.

After crossing through the intersection, the motorcyclist flags down a police officer and tells him what happened. Fortunately the drive caught everything on video and the officer is more than happy to help. After asking the motorcyclist to follow him, the officer flips on his lights and pulls the woman over.

The motorcyclist posted the video to YouTube along and described the aftermath, “She got 2 tickets 1 for passing on right and 1 for unsafe lane change. Cop was a cool guy and after he was done with what he needed to do we all went on our way.”

Guess who’s laughing now?